Dear Friends and Partners in Ministry-

"In Love's Service Only Wounded Soldiers Can Serve." This quote from Thornton Wilders play "The Angel That Troubled the Waters" is a painful one, most of us don't "sign up" to be wounded soldiers. Brennan Manning says "The greater our empathy, the more closely we identify through compassion with the person for whom we pray, the more perfect is our communion with the tender mercy of the healing Christ."

I experienced a piece of what its like to be a "wounded healer" last week in the hospital at the department of radiology, where cancer patients receive radiology and chemotherapy. I spent the morning being evaluated for my next chapter of treatment. This department is a whole world in itself filled with people in extreme pain struggling with life and . Some with no hair, others sick and vomiting, others crying, some angry fighting with family members, others quietly sitting in their own turmoil. The common denominator for all of us was fear. Fear of the pain, fear of our loss of control of our lives, fear we won't have much time with those we passionately love.

I thank God my cancer is very treatable with surgery and radiation. My time in this department of pain will be limited (hopefully) but in this brief encounter God broke my heart. I told the nurses that this ministry they have is an incredible job as I watched their tenderness as they wiped tears and cleaned up vomit. In so many aspects this too is a Ground Zero for so many. I desperately want to understand this suffering of others, not in a distant removed way, not just from a book, but to be involved in others painful situations, not afraid to "get my fingers burned." I pray that I can compassionately feel what they feel, cry with those that suffer, laugh and celebrate with others as God moves their hearts to joy.

Dr. Dan Allender who has been writing to me in this journey says "Redemption touches us more deeply than tragedy...but without tragedy there could be no redemption." I truly believe that our suffering, our tragedies can be a gift. A gift of understanding, a gift to allow God to enter into my heart in a tender loving way. I have longed for. I desire for God to continue to "go to the depths" with this experience.

I will go into the hospital for 2-3 days before Christmas and start radioactive therapy. Please pray with us that with this treatment the remaining cancer cells will be gone. Please also pray that I will never forget where I am today, that I will never forget:

• my utter dependence on my Savior
• my new awakening on how very precious everyday is
• my intense love for my family and the joy of every word, every laugh, every moment I have to be a Mother and Wife.

St. Therese of Lisieux says "I beg you, Father look upon me only in the face of Jesus and in his heart, burning with love. Make my soul a sanctuary. Thy holy dwelling place; Make it a garden of delight Where every flower sees the Light; The glory of Thy Face." Lord Jesus, I am yours, create in me a flame to love you deeper, ignite in me a clean heart that is a mirror of your beautiful heart that loves this fragile, broken Daughter.

Crazy with Love for Her Heavenly Daddy-Julie Woodley